The Adventures of a Single Girl

I’ve been out a couple times since I last posted and the single life is not getting any easier! (I have however, been wearing make up and I think I’m getting prettier! That's a plus.) I just really like being with my friends (I’m DFF all night, every night! And that means Down For Fun! If anyone is wondering..) so when I have to devote time to strangers it gets a little exhausting. I don’t mind meeting new people, in fact, I enjoy it, but when they are telling me about their drug use I get a little bored. Or the guy whose dog just died and he is out drinking away his sorrows… I have a difficult time connecting with that. Let’s not forget the guy who sent his friend to talk to me because he was too scared himself. Seriously?! I can’t even handle that. And you all remember mint green V-neck guy who asked me to buy him a drink? I think I met his third cousin who also asked me to buy him a drink which he thought guaranteed sole ownership of being my dance partner all night. Needless to say, I didn’t buy him a drink. One of my favorite types of guys to meet are the ones that give you a fake name when you first meet them. That really helps me trust the men in this world. Regardless of the strife, it’s still fun to be on the look out for cute guys. Unfortunately for me and Shauna we end up being surrounded by men that look homeless most of the time. And if not homeless looking, severely vertically challenged… (if you were there you know what I mean.)

So now that we know my choice of men is top notch let me get into another issue. Giving out my phone number. What is the proper protocol for that? What do I say if I don’t want to give it to him? It doesn’t matter what I should say because I go brain dead in the moment anyway and end up typing my first and last name, social security number, parents address, and old instant messenger user name into his phone. This then leads to further problems… random text messages from people I wasn’t all that interested in to begin with! I win them over with my shining personality I think. Let me give you some examples:

Example 1)

Guy: I hope to see you again

Me: My car battery died

Example 2)

Guy: I'll be around next weekend, let me know if you’re trying to hang out

Me: It looks like today will be a perfect day for hiking!

Example 3)

Guy: Do you work out a lot?

Me: (no response)

Example 4)

Guy: Hey, I have a case of beer and a bottle of jack

Me: Have fun?

Ugh, enough of that stimulating conversation... You hear about unique places to meet men featured in articles on various women’s self help websites or magazines. I thought I’d try a new one out: the bookstore. The Green Valley Discount Book Fair to be exact. Nothing says romance like a giant warehouse full of senior citizens squinting to read the small print, screaming children screaming about everything, and having to carry a shopping basket that becomes so heavy you get imprints in your forearms after 7 minutes. Okay so the real goal wasn’t to meet a man, we were there because Shauna and I love books and were filling up our rainy Saturday afternoon. However, I found a man stalker. We made eye contact in the poetry section, across the room from best sellers and writing references, and then again over a poorly placed Tucker Max book. I quickly realized somehow no matter when or where I looked up there he was. Shauna and I met up again and moved to the juvenile fiction section and I turn around and there he was. Next we wondered to the women’s health section.. no sign is a good sign, so we continued to self help/relationship advice. We are cracking up over some flirting tips (which we both need!) and who is there enjoying the sound of our laughter? My stalker! Holding a women’s health book upside down and staring right at us. Oh joy. It’s time to leave. As we were standing in line Shauna alerts me to his nearing presence and I finally realize, “I should have just said hi in the very beginning and gotten all this awkwardness over with.” Then an even bigger realization hits me: he is wearing jorts. Jorts! We were outta there!

The Cold Hard Truth

Okay, so I know a few posts ago I talked about relationships changing and good days and bad days and blah blah blah. If anyone can make a break up sound warm and fuzzy then I think I did just that. If I was too subtle for most of you – here is the straight up truth with no games or hidden meanings – I am a single girl! (Just to help you if you don’t get it yet here are some other key words: break up, heartbroken, dumped, “It’s-not-you-it’s-me”… following now? Haha)

A break up is a pretty big deal. I’m a person who is very in tune with my emotions but I’m also kinda smart J so my heart and my head have been fighting a lot lately. I’m lucky I have some good friends and an even better mom who deal with my chatter all the time. At least I’m not crying! Okay, so maybe once or twice, BUT I have been getting lots of “Wow, Emily, you are handling this way better than I thought you would.” I guess my friends expected me to be a train wreck or something. Thanks guys!

I guess it just felt wrong to be blogging about this before because it is so much a part of someone else’s life as it is mine. But I am able to apply one of my favorite pieces of life advice almost every day now: You can’t control other people or even what happens to you but you can control your reaction to it. And y’all better believe that I am reacting completely for my benefit! So I am just going to focus on me and not worry about broadcasting someone else’s business. For example, as I am writing this I am drinking a cup of coffee and eating some Nutter Butter Bites (I know you’re jealous, Dad, the breakfast of champions). I’m wearing leggings as pants and an oversized t-shirt. I have the lovely amenities at my apartment such as a heating pad for my back cramps and a view from my living room of the mountains surrounding the valley. I also don’t plan on showering for awhile and I might even watch The Notebook later while I’m crafting. I would say that my reaction is pretty much set for today. I actually think people wish they had my life.

After being in a relationship for 3.5 years I have seemed to have forgotten some of the rituals of being a single girl… or maybe not even forgotten, I don’t think I’ve ever even experienced them! Something I learned after going out socially the last two nights is that I should try to do my hair and make-up. I get I want people to love me for me and all that but I gotta draw them in somehow (and hope they don’t realize they’ve been tricked later)! Something else I realized I have no idea how to maneuver is approaching/being approached by random strangers at the bar. This new life is going to be so interesting! This post if getting somewhat long so I am going to just leave you with my first real adventure as a single girl. Hopefully you can laugh at it as much as I did!!

Setting the scene: A few of my friends in Harrisonburg went out for a drink special at a bar we like.

What happened: Me and Taylor went up to pay out our tabs before leaving. Taylor stood at the bar first and I waited behind her. I really wasn’t paying attention to anything so I was surprised when I got up to the bar and picked up the pen the guy next to me said, “You really shouldn’t have to be paying for that.” I gave him a confused look and then a smile because he was cute, tan, and had a mint green v-neck on. He continued by saying, “You are way too pretty to pay for that. You need to say to the bartender, ‘Excuse me, I look good so I can get out of paying this right?’” I laughed and said quite honestly, “I could never do that! I don’t really get how girls can always get free drinks and stuff.” He then replied with his most winning remark of the short interaction, “If you don’t mind paying then, do you care if I add my drink to your bill?” I smiled at him waiting for it to be a joke but he just stared back at me. He was serious. So I did what any smart newly single girl would do when such a treasure is right in front of them – I paid for his drink and asked for his number….. Um no! Are you kidding me?!! I got the heck out of there is more like it!!

How to Make a Beautiful Life

My parents got me a card for my birthday. Mom said it is the kind of card I would get someone else so she bought it for me. Of course, I cried. I'm going to type out the whole card here so it'll be like giving it to all of you too.

Love yourself. MAKE PEACE with who you are and where you are at this moment in time.

Listen to you heart. If you can't hear what it's saying in this noisy world, MAKE TIME for yourself. Enjoy your own company. Let you mind wander among the stars.

Try. Take chances. MAKE MISTAKES. Life can be mess and confusing at times, but it's also full of surprises. The next rock in your path might be a stepping stone.

Be happy. When you don't have what you want, want what you have. MAKE DO. That's a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren't any shortcuts to tomorrow. You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY. To know where you're going is only part of it. You need to know where you've been, too. And if you ever get lost, don't worry. The people who love you will find you. Count on it.

Life isn't days and years. It's what you do with time and with all the goodness and grace that's inside you. MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE... The kind of life you deserve, the kind of life God has planned for you.

As I start the 23rd year of my life, I only hope that it continues to be a beautiful journey. The next time I post something I'll be back in Harrisonburg and the journey will really have begun! Love to you all. xoxo