Time

I have lots of great ideas about what to blog about but after last week and the two already painful days of this week I have to scratch all the great ideas and talk about what is on my mind and that is…. Time. I could talk about how I know I’ll meet someone perfect for me when I am in the right place at the right time. Or I could talk about how I came to the place I am in my life – all the tiny moments in time that led up to right now. Or I could go a completely different route and talk about my future and how I don’t know what time will bring me. I do plan to talk about all of these things at some point but tonight I want to touch on the restrictions of time.

I feel like I am being strangled. Every reading I have to do, every paper I have to write, every load of laundry that needs to be washed, every drive to campus, every student appointment, every, every, every! I add up every minute each of these things will take and I am always coming up short of time. Or I underestimate how long something will take and become behind on my to-do list (which is never ending). It’s like I’m drowning in responsibilities and each time I accomplish something I get a breath of fresh air but then I get pulled under again. I know I am being cynical. I’m not complaining about anything I have to do. I enjoy it all. I want to be doing what I am doing – never doubt that – but I just wish time could freeze until I could catch up a little bit.

I try to use my weekends to catch up and spend most Saturday’s in the library but I need to relax too! I need to be social and visit with friends and make the most of beautiful Virginia and watch the Bachelor on Monday’s with the girls. Yes, I need to do these things too! I’ve been trying to stick with our healthy living plan for the new year and still make it to the gym. Then there is cooking dinner and packing lunch. Health is important but it takes time too!

I am realizing that I have limitations. I can’t just keep pushing and pushing and pushing and except to come out perfect and shining at the end. There are going to be bumps and bruises along the way. Nothing worth it in life comes easy. Right now I’m just taking a little tumble with time. None of this means I’m not happy or I’m not having fun but I certainly am being challenged. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to how I spend my time and I need to continue keep fighting the good fight.

Everything will be alright in the end and if it's not alright it's not the end. I'm am looking towards that light at the end of the tunnel! I just gotta get the lock down on the clock!